Thursday, December 29, 2005

Jenny and the girl at the bar

Just as you hit Walnut street after rounding the Rittenhouse square , you will see the huge Radisson Plaza , Warwik . It has a strange darkish grey colour , something that hotels in India would instinctively abhor . But the manner in which the hotel stands out on the street with its flags arching over the road and the central US flag proudly displayed , the colour adds magnificiently to its grandeur . The entire edifice looks rock solid and seems to have been carved out of one single stone .
The concierge pulled out the bags from the car and lugged them in . Me and Gautam walked upto the counter to check in . A middle aged man at the front desk was checking guests in . This guy’s badge read ‘John . ’
‘You have reservations , gentlemen ?’
The first striking thing is that everyone stands in a queue . And there is only one person at a time at the counter . This is impossible in India . At hotel desks , we abdicate politeness and instead of queueing up , gesticulate and growl so as the get the attention of the receptionists on the other side of the desk . I was amazed .
After a good quarter of an hour , our turn came . We thrust the fax acceptance of our reservation done from India on the table . he smiled , punched keys , looked up some printed sheets , called up his boss and gave us a smile .
‘ Reservation for one day only ‘
‘Actually we have reservations for 4 days . You see we booked three days first , then we pre-extended it by another day . So its from the 19th Sep which is what this confirmation from your hotel says . And this is from 20th to the 22nd Sep as this sheet says ,’ Gautam clarified
‘ You see , Sir , you’ll have to check out after the 1st day and re-check in again as per how you have received confirmations ‘
‘Excuse me , we have three plus one four days , we should we check out and check in again ?
‘You need to as you have a break-in reservation ‘
‘ Can we speak to your manager ?’
A smartly dressed black manager walked in from the door behind the front desk .
‘Hi , I am John ‘
Gautam explained the need .
John was efficient . he checked all the faxes . Called up a number and double-checked the confirmation number .
‘ You shall have your room , Sir , in a minute ‘
He left instructions for continous booking for four days , smiled and vanished in the back door .
One John to the rescue of another John . John rescues John . Black rescues White . Smart rescues Dumb . Pretty poetic , it occurred to me .
I looked at this John . Dumb is the word. That’s the other thing about these guys . They are dumb . Be it the front desk girls at Holiday Inn New Jersey , the woman at the las vegas motel , the restaurant owner in Washington , the Minneapolis woman who next to me on the flight to san Francisco , the cop at Amtrack’s 30th street station ,the dude at the ING shop on Locust street , the smart guy behind the desk at Borders bookstore or this John . Dumb .All of them .
The sudokus they do here defined as ‘difficult ’ are being done back home by ten year old kids as easy . No wonder , the universities are full of our guys teaching physics and maths . We got in the room . Smaller than the ones that hotels in India have , but well kept just as well . There’s not much room service , just self – service .
‘Let’s grab a Sprite ’ , I said . Me types get drunk on Sprite . I like the tagline too , Sprite bujhayee sirf pyaas , baaki sab bakwaas . Or the new repositioning one ‘ All taste , no gyaan ‘
I walked to the seventh floor bay . There was a stack of newspapers .
‘Hurricane Rita type 2 ‘, the headline of USA today screamed .
‘Hitting Florida on Thursday ‘ , was the byline. There was a photograph of thousands of people lining up some international border , miles of trucks . There were half a million residents who would be affected and they needed to be evacuated . New Orleans had highlighted the poor response of the govt to Hurricane Katrina , and so it needed to do something fast . Evacuate was a smart move . Dumb move .
The coke machine was imposing . At about 180 cms, it was a tad taller than me . The ones outside Walmart at the Waterfront were even bigger .
A one dollar coin popped out the sprite 300ml bottle . It tasted sweeter than the Sprite in India . Had it been a long time or was it just a feeling ? Couldn’t say for sure . But , sweeter , it sure was . Whatever happened to the branding philosophy of constancy . Wherever in the world you are , a can of coke tastes the same ?
Aah , was robbed of even this feeling of familiarity in this land of the free .

Outside the Radisson , there’s activity . A quaint little street full of all kinds of vehicles , Hummers , Cabs , Pickup trucks et al establishes that there can’t be a dearth of action in Philadelphia . To the west is the Schuylkill River ,beyond which is the University City district with the Wharton School . There’s hardly any green in the city center , just concrete blocks , each of which look alike . Most of the large buildings are basic in their demeanour , lacks the architectural splendour of some of the historical monuments . And south of Walnut street , there are rows and rows of red brick houses and cobble stoned alleys .

The best thing after walking around in Manhattan is walking in Philadelphia . The lanes are clean as if swept a couple of minutes back . There are not too many people jostling for space . Noone spits around or relieves at unnoticed corners , like good old Mumbai . Surely that’s got to do with the population . Imagine Philadelphia’s 1.5 million people are a tenth of Mumbai’s populace , more like Indore back home . But there’s the rub . Philadelhia is seeped in history , has tremendous class and is a beautiful city to live in . It has hometown charm and big city excitement . Indore’s 1.5 million people have much less . It’s the city of neighbourhoods . From Cheshnut street , just after the 5th street , I walked around across to the Independence hall , the birthplace of the United states as a big polished billboard announced . The independence national historic park has a huge bell called the Liberty bell , presumably signifying the end of the civil war and the birth of the new nation state . A couple of blocks away , there’s the house where Benjamin Franklin stayed
I bought a days pass for unlimited travel on the South Pennsylvania’s transportation authority for $5.50 , thought it to be much more convenient that the constant single one way fare of $2 each time you need to jump a couple of streets . We were curious to see Wal Mart . So we reached the Waterfront district where many years ago , Penn had landed. Wal-mart was good , big and massive in its assembly of products and its price points . Everything under the sun was being retailed . From boats to beyblades . Indian retailing is catching up . There’s this place called Magnet in Mumbai , which is exactly the size of this Walmart and there Giant in Bangalore which is probably bigger . Massive discount stores are getting into India like noones business .
India is a nation of retailers , as any sane researcher worth his questionnaire or focus group will tell you . Mom and pop stores are run like big businesses in india . Even the ones in New York are run by Indians . In a couple of years , am sure we could teach Sam Walton a couple of lessons or two on retailing . Many years back , I had met Kishore Biyani in a Pantaloons store on CG road in Ahmedabad pedling his pant pieces . He had two brands Bare denim and pantaloons . I bought a pantaloon trouser , then . Little did I know that he would become the Rajah of retail over the next couple of years . He owns and operates India’s biggest and most successful retail story , Big bazaar . In addition , he has added Food bazaar , Pantaloons and a presence in 10 towns that have a million plus residents . He listed in the stock exchanges in may 2005 and has seen his stock price climb 125% over 7 months . My ICICI Big bazaar credit card helps me get a 5% off on eachof the bills we run up there . But his stores don’t add up to the size of Wal-mart , just yet . Another year or two probably . Magnet has its size today and maybe it will be the next Wal-mart .

Even as you arrive at the airport , you step into history . Philadelphia international airport has huge paintings , scribble boards and collages of words , speeches and signatures of the declaration of independence . It strikes you just as much as the massive collection on large size paintings in San francisco international airport .

Around eight pm , the bigger cars are out on the roads . A limousine pulls away from the hotels kerb . A lexus drives in with a big , burly white guy clutching a black girl in jeans and an abstract top . They walk into the lobby and into the elevator . We wait a couple of more minutes , taking in the environment . There’s a slight nip in the air . A kind of cold chilly breeze . As we begin walking towards the bar , we pass a theatre . There are over a hundred people dressed in coattails and shining shoes accompanied by magnificiently decked women with long flowery gowns walking into one of the theatres .
We turn left towards locust street for the bar. We don’t ask anyone lest we be followed .
We stepped in to Signature gentleman’s Bar with a little restraint . A young girl emerged from behind the desk , “ $5 a head ‘ , she said
We pulled out monies are gave her .
She signaled us to a door on the side .
We walked through a dark corridor and emerged into a dimly lit room . It had a central platform that held a large oiled pole in its centre ; with a semi-circular bar desk around it with high stools . A lot of business types were sitting on the stools .There was a gang of five young boys and girls , probably in the early twenties sitting in the centre , downing drinks merrily and make a lot of noise . there was also a couple sitting on a side . There were two black bouncers guarding the doorway behind . We occupied two stools next to the executives as we felt safer , I guess.
Suddenly , the music changed .
And onto the central platform jumped a girl in a black trouser and a flowing black robe . She had good clear skin and was reasonably tall . She took to the pole with fervor swinging around .Then , she paused , caressed her breasts and drove her hand between her legs .She repeated this a couple of times going round the pole .
With a deft stroke, she yanked her top to reveal a black brassiere . It was an amazing contrast , her flawless white skin and her black clothing . And very exciting .
As she perfomed her act , a young girl with huge breasts tucked in a tight white shirt , so you could see her pebble like nipples ,and a short skirt came up from behind and said , ‘ ‘What would you have , sir ?’
Man , didn’t it sound like ‘ Coffee , tea or me ?‘
A sprite ‘ I said . Good ol’ Sprite . All taste , No gyaan .Didn’t look like I would be needing any gyaan for a long time now .
As she left I looked back to find that the girl had come onto the bar desk and was unzipping her trouser as a big tease . The gang of boys and girls was shouting a countdown . She wriggled out of the trouser to reveal a set of beautiful ivory legs . What a sight . Now , there was aggression in her dance . She climbed up the pole , and hung upside down caressing her body slowly as the music slowed down . In an ultimate act of seduction , she undid her brassiere to reveal to beautiful, well carved breasts .
‘Your Sprite ‘ sir ‘ said the bar maid .
I was too engrossed to notice .
As she did her act with only a small thin garment covering her between her legs , the crowd was ecstatic . She climbed down from the platform and came up the bar desk where we were sitting . She walked on all fours round the table . As she did that , people inserted one dollar bills in the string that precariouslt held the loincloth. Soon , she was very close to where I was sitting . She looked seductively at me . Her gaze and smile stayed at me for a full couple of minutes . It was a good feeling Her brilliant breasts dangling down like low hanging  fruit . She knelt down and fondled her breasts . Soft , bountiful and lovely . Then she signaled to her undergarment string . I pulled out a five dollar bill , folded and pushed it in . Soon , she was done and went back to the platform , climbing one pole instantly . She stretched her legs up the pole and licked her thighs . The crowd shouted orgasmically . They wanted her to be out of the last garment .The feeling of exhilaration in the crowd heightened .
And then she untied the strings of her last undergarment , looking at each person around the table and laughing out loud .
As the garment dropped , I died and went to heaven .



Just on the corner of Radisson , is Pete’s . A small 10-12 seater café . That’s where Jennifer serves breakfast . Jenny , as she would like to be called .
Early at seven am , the café opens for breakfast . Scrambled / poached eggs – two , toasts -2 , tea or coffee , small glass of fruit juice and a baked , mashed potato slice for two dollars and ninety five cents . This became my breakfast daily after my first bad day at Mc Donalds where a four dollar breakfast added a lot of trash into my system early in the day .
Jenny was an amazing girl . She would have been in the mid-twenties , slightly plumpish around the middle , but very athletic as I would soon find out .
I sat down around the ten stool horse-shoe table .
‘What would you have , sir ?’ she said pulling out a small scribbling pad from her apron string and a pencil from behind our ear . All in a jiffy .
‘Ill have your standard breakfast with black coffee ‘
‘juice ?’
‘Orange ‘
‘Eggs ‘
‘Scrambled ‘
She moved on .
In a minute , she put the request through her kitchen . Another helper gave her a bucket full of washed plates . Two business executives , dressed impeccably walked in . She took their orders even before they could settle down . She put four toasts into the toaster . My coffee came first . She thrust it in front of me . A women wanted to add more salt . Jenny fetched the salt swinging from where she was sitting to where the salt was . She adjusted the freshly washed plates . The black gentleman sitting on my left paid up and left . Jenny cleared the table instantly .My Scrambled egg plate arrived at the counter where she received orders from the kitchen . She picked it up and passed it to me . The coffee for the executives arrived . She gave it to them . The toasts popped . She reached for them and distributed them . I got two . The other two waited for two more to be given to the execs .I finished my meal in fifteen minutes .She pulled out her scribbling pad and handed me a bill . I put a five dollar bill on the bill plate and left . I felt like tipping her really well . Am sure two dollars on a three dollar bill is a great tip.
Not that I haven’t seen speedy service , udupi restaurants back home serve faster , make you eat faster . But this is amazing . Jenny’s co-ordination is untiring and you can watch her in action . She does not rest . She is like an efficient well oiled machine delivering one product after another effortlessly .
I tipped her everyday till something snapped on Sunday .
On Sunday , breakfast is five dollars . This is true-blue America . Dynamic pricing principles at work . Two dollars and ninety five cents across the week and four dollars and ninety five cents on weekends for the same breakfast .
I didn’t expect a change of rates , so was surprised at the bill . I looked around , the board did show the weekend price . I guess , just visiting it everyday , we overlooked the differential weekend price .
Well , Jenny missed her tip that day .
I

Signature , the gentleman’s bar on Locust street , follows the same .
Five dollars a head for the week and ten dollars a head for weekend .
Double the charge for the same pair of tits .
And this is the land of justice !

We crossed the Delaware river to reach Camden waterfront’s Adventure aquarium . The cabbie had said that we could go around over the Benjamin Franklin bridge and then come through Mickle boulevard , but we thought the ferry ride would be good . We reached Penn’s landing and took the ferry . Six dollars a head for a return ticket . On the other side , the aquarium had a twenty dollar entry . It’ s one of the best aquariums that one sees . Large fish , neatly kept . Clean water . For a two hundred dollar ticket , you could swim with the sharks . The brochure says they are well –fed and not hungry when you get in to swim with them . But , hell , who knows their apetite . The remarkable thing is that someone thought of something like this . Imagine taking away an experience of a lifetime .

Walking back from the Penns Landing towards our hotel , we took the Walnut street and decided to leg it up . We crossed the Carpenters hall and the Tomb of the unknown soldier . A little further down is this old bookstore that had an outstanding collection of very old books . The Massive collections of Limericks caught my attention . Don’t get them in Mumbai anymore , so I picked all three of them up .

There once was a Dentist named Stone
Who saw his patients alone ,
In a fit of depravity
He filled the wrong cavity ,
And my, how his practice has grown !


In the shade of the old apple tree
I got all that was coming to me
In the soft dewy grass
I had a fine piece of ass
From a maiden that was fine to see .

“My back aches . My penis is sore.
I simply can’t fuck any more .
I’m dripping with sweat;
And you haven’t come yet ;
And my God ! it’s a quarter to four !


Amtracks 30th street station connects to the east coast districts and we landed there as we head towards Washington . The station is huge , has a majestic lobby that has absolutely clean bookstores , restaurants , coffee bars and the like . There is a central enquiry hub and a set of ticketing cabins alongside the walls . A step of stairs leads to the train system below . The experiences started getting similar . There was a small queue for everything . You couldn’t get into the Amtracks’ train system before a certain whistle that one of the two officers in blue uniforms would blow . Ticket queues are the same as the ones at Radisson . One at a time . You need an ID card , a passport to buy them. There is a big rack full of brochures in each station detailing everything that a tourist can see or do . There ‘s a large map of the tracks with train numbers that help one choose times and trains .

Seven fifteen on a warm Saturday morning , we were headed to Washington .

1 comment:

Unknown said...

There was so much to write. He had seen the world change with every new place, every new journey he took, every new people he met and 'felt'! He had been in it and he had watched closely and it was his duty to write of it, even about the moment he almost died and went to Heaven